The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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