I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize