The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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