dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
jump out the window naked night went bad
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