spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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