i just wanna soil my oats bro
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
