Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
