My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
