belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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