I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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