so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
