I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize