Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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