We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
