Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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