I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize