I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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