Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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