he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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