my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
