guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize