What did we do last night that was yellow?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
