Got a toothbrush?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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