we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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