Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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