best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
