wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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