How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Vodka?
Forever.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
