i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
