Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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