love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize