look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
