thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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