So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
