Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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