your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize