I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
