I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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