Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
