I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
