Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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