do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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