Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
