And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
