we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
