I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
