the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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