i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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