I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
