sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
