he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
