Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think your dad took our porno
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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