how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
