So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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