drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
