I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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