There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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