I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
