is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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