Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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