We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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