just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i will never coherently bang her
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
