My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
im on a boat
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