btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
