please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
