We won't sleep together?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude i'm inner monologue high
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
