i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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