i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
time to smoke my breakfast
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
