I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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