She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
