next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize