Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
