there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
